NursingLink

I know there was a post on here about nurses encountering rude doctors, but this is from a patient's point of view. As many of you may know, my Mom passed away about 1 1/2 years ago unexpectantly. I have had a hard time dealing with it but I am coming out of the fog that has enveloped me since her death. This is an incident that happened the week before she died and I can't get it out of my mind. Her health had been failing quickly in the recent weeks before her death. My sister and I would take turns staying with her during the day while my step-father was at work. On this day, she had an appointment with the podiatrist and it was my day. Her appointment was for 3pm. I had left early, because she was extremely slow doing anything and I knew it would take awhile to get her into the car (she moved at a snail's pace). On my way to her house, my sister paged me and said the doctor's office had called and asked her to come in early. They said to try and make it by 1pm. It took alot of effort on both our parts, but we got there at 1pm sharp. First, let me tell you alittle about my Mom. She was feisty and funny and said whatever she happened to be thinking. All the way there, she kept telling me how much I was going to like this doctor.She said he had a good sense of humor. When we walked into the office, the three nurses behind the desk stopped what they were doing and stared at us. One of them said "My, you are early". We said we had been instructed to come in early by a phone call that morning. The nurse looked surprised and said the doctor was not even there. He was in a meeting some 20 minutes away. She asked us to wait. She paged the doctor and he misunderstood and thought there was an emergency. So he rushed over. In the mean time, the nurse apologized and explained that they had someone new in scheduling and this was obviously a mistake on her part. We were put in the room to await the doctor's arrival. He came rushing in, all red-faced and out of breath. He asked"What's the emergency?" We explained it was just a routine visit for her toenails to be clipped. He became outraged and began yelling "I was in the middle of an important meeting. I had to leave and rush over here! I don't see patients on Wednesday before3pm!" He said that three times "I don't see patients on Wednesdays before 3pm ". I tried to explain that we had been asked to come in early. It was inconvenient for us too.He went into the adjacent room and with the door open began yelling at the nurses. (I would have hated to be th one who made the mistake-she was probably fired). He came back in, huffing and puffing, face still red as a beet and not hiding his displeasure at all. My Mom tried to joke with him but he was having none of it. In fact, he was quite rude and kept going on and on about how he had to leave his meeting to come there. His actions were very fast and clipped as he trimmed her toenails. She complained that he was hurting her. He continued with his rough treatment of her feet. When he was finished, he got up and left in a huff to yell at the nurses some more. When we were back in the car, I remarked to my Mom that I hadn't liked him very much at all. My Mom didn't seem to pay his behavior any mind (that's how she was). But I was very dissatisfied and upset with him and his unprofessional manner. I wanted to go back there the next day and complain. But I didn't. The next week, my Mom was gone. I kept thinking about the way he treated my Mom, an 80 year old woman in a wheelchair. I wish I had gone back to his office and regret that I didn't. If I had saved just one patient from being treated like my Mom was, that would have been enough. How can doctors be so arrogant and pompous as to act this way. If he had anything to say to the nurses, he should have done it out of our earshot. And he should never have acted this way in front of a patient! My blood still boils just thinking about it. No one deseves to be treated this way by a professional. I wrote him a scathing letter, but never mailed it. I believe what goes around, comes around and he'll get his someday. But poor Mama......

Charlita, I do understand. I dealt with similiar behavior to my mother before her death. I was really angry for a while and then I realized that she was gone and was not concerned with it, the doctors/nurses had gone on with their lives and probably did not even remember the incidents. I was the only one beating myself up with the pain and anger. There is a phrase "That which angers me, controls me". I decided to quit allowing my anger towards these uncaring and rude people control me. I choose now to remember all the medical personnel who were wonderfully patient with my mother who could be a bit of a pistol if the truth is told. I will never forget how my mom's oncologist greeted the day she got the news that there was nothing more they could do, chemo and radiation had no effect the tumor was still growing, but he greeted her at the door of his clinic "How's the toughest lady in Blount Count today?" His civility and respect allowed her the dignity she deserved.

The doctor and his staff that treated you and your mother that way should be ashamed of themselves and may just well be. But you have to let go of the anger and the pain and remember your Mother acted like a Lady even though her doctor acted like a pompous A**. Take your cue from your mother my dear.

Find another doctor. You need to have a doctor you feel comfortable with and trust. Seems like everytime I find one I really like they move or something and I have to start all over again. It might take some time, but it'll be worth it.

 Until we as nurses and most importantly our patients start to stand up to rude doctors who think they are God, it will not change.I know this is cleche' but, what goes around DOES come around...This is a true story. My father passed away as well recently. Before he did I would go with him to all of his visits, his brother who was a big wig at the bank would bless us with his company at times (You will see why I mention him in a minute) My father became very ill at the end, one day I came in my dad's room and he was falling in and out of sleep. A man dressed in regular clothes was standing over him, I asked my dad "who is this?" He replied "I don't know" I asked the man who he was, he said "I am your dad's doctor" with a rude tone in his voice like of course I should KNOW this. I said what happened to Dr Stone? "Well I am his doctor while he is in the hospital" again very rudely, my uncle shimmed in and said "you do not have to be so rude" The doctor replied "I can have you both removed from this hospital for interferring with this patients care"!  I said "you and what army?" This doc left the room and a few minutes later security was at the door to my father's room.  My uncle said"excuse me, we are NOT leaving, and if we do it will be with my brother in two to a different hospital". We demanded the hospital administrator and within an hour the entire admin team was in the hallway.  We immedialetly fired THAT doc and my uncle said "If he touches my brother we will have him arrested for battery". Well to make a long story short about a month later my Uncle calls me on the phone, he said you will never guess who came into the bank and wanted a loan to build his new medical center with his Partners (remember I said my uncle was a big wig at the bank? A BIG BIG wig) anyways the doc walked into the bank to speak to my uncle, my uncle said he turned pale when he saw my uncle standing there, my uncle was the one who would make or break this guys new medical center.....guess who is still looking for the money???Once you have been turned down by a big bank it is hard to go elsewhere.  

See, it came around and bit him in his rude butt. You never know WHO you may meet again!

I feel everyone's pain here.My mother passed 6.5 years ago and I still miss her.TG,I loved her doctor but there are ways you can at least write a reivew of the type of medical care they provide.I have googled awful doctors names and have sites on yelp,etc and write reviews but if ONE person reads it and doesnt go ...it is worth it.It also helps relieve your anger(i had an MD who refused to fill Lopressor and Glyburide x 1 week) until my fiance could be seen...we did not go..and we wont go back..:)

I worked on an Ortho/Trauma unit. My favorite Orthopedic surgeon was oncall one day when I admitted a gentleman who was visiting family from out of state and he had gone skydiving.  His parachute had the canopy collapse by a freak sheering wind that came up when he was about 50ft up in the air.  He landed with straight legs and broke his back in about 4 places.  This was back in the early 1990's and we were slower than the coasts on how to care for patients with HIV and AIDS and their right to confidentiality with their disease.  The patient told the physician that he was a gay man here to visit his family whom he hadn't seen in about 10 years.  This Orthopod flat out asked him if he had AIDS or was HIV positive.  The patient was well versed on his rights not to reveal and pointed out that Universal precautions were put into place for a reason.  I was in the room for the entire debate.  While I understood why the surgeon wanted that yes or no, the patient was within his rights not to disclose and ask that all precautions be put into place to protect the staff during his stay.  When the surgeon found out the HIV blood work wasn't drawn, he pulled me into the room to witness the discussion and asked that I document it to the best of my ability in the record.  The surgeon refused to do the surgery for 4 days until the Ethics committee could come in and make a ruling.  I watched an otherwise wonderful surgeon with a great bedside manner morph into a monster.  He was rude, condescending, and inappropriate.  Then he got mad when through the ethics committee inquiry, he found out that I agreed with the patient.  He started to treat me like dirt and was nasty from that point on.  I went to my supervisor, who agreed with him, and she said i get what I deserved.  When one of the Ethics committee members asked me how things were going, I said I wasn't going to say anything again.  We discussed the behavior of the surgeon and my supervisor, he said that it was my honesty and dedication to protecting that patient's rights that he most admired about me.  He said what goes around, comes around and they will be dealt with in due time.  He told me to be proud of my actions and behavior, and he would take care of the rest. 

There are many horror stories out there.  Recently when a resident was interviewing a patient he asked the patient how he was feeling.  The patient being npo for a couple of days due to nausea and vomitting and probable GI bleed said matter of factly, "I'm hungery."  The resident, who was new to the rotation and was foreign-born said to this patient, "So, am I."  Now I was out of sight and out of the room but, I was pissed.  But, let it go.  However, I have had dealings with physicians that have little or no respect for our Vets or patients, and sometimes treat them like science experiments and have come to terms with some in the past.  I will confrot this wanna-be-someday phsician in the presence of the attending physician and hopefully he will find himself looking like the products that are used for canned dog food.  Sometimes it isn't easy to let the physicians know that they are out of line and sometimes you have to wait for the right moment but, that time comes.  I have seen nurses dressed down by some of the best physicians around these parts over and over, and eventually the physician usually changes.  Sometimes it takes a while, but they will.  Stay the course Nurses, stand up for your patients, your family, and your rights to be treated fairly and with dignity.