NursingLink

I love living in Kentucky, with the exception of people thinking that since I live in KY, I have no indoor plumbing or have no shoes or teeth....

Rednecks use computers too...here's a list of common terminology:

"Log On" --
Making da wood stove hotter.

"Log Off " --
Don't add wood.

"Monitor" --
1. Keep an eye on da wood stove.
2. What you do when you suspect your wife of cheatin.

"Megahertz" --
When a big log drops on your bare foot in da morning.

"Floppy Disk" --
What you get from piling too much wood.

"Drive" --
Getting home during most of the winter in Kentucky.

"Prompt" --
What you wish da mail was during the snow season.

"Enter" --
Come on in.

"Windows" --
What you shut when it gets 10 below.

"Screen" --
What is a must during black fly season.

"Chip" --
What you munch during Wildcat's games.

"Microchip" --
What's left in da bag when da chips are gone.

"Dot Matrix" --
Eino Matrix's wife.

"Laptop" --
Where da grandkids sit.

"Software" --
Them plastic picnic utensils, eh?.

"Mainframe" --
Da part of da sauna that holds up da roof.

"Port" --
Where da commercial fishin boats dock.

"Random Access Memory" --
Whan you can't remember how much you spent on da new deer rifle when Wife asks about it.

"Shift" --
What you do to get that truck to go.

"Ins" --
To Enter, as in, "Ins ya go, outs you go".

"Scanner" --
1. What you do to a good lookin' woman.
2. What you listen to the police band on.

"Disc" --
What you do before you plow, to level the ground.

"Ram" --
1. Dodge pick up truck.
2. Da hydraulic thing that makes da woodsplitter work.

"Rom" --
Wander: "Wher' ya goin?" "Ah dunnow. Recon I'll jus rom round"

"Refresh" --
Mix another Jack Daniels and 7.

"Browser" --
Bowser's name when you're drunk.

"Web" --
DUH? should be obvious. What spiders make, tickles yer butt when you gotta go while in the woods.

"Edit" --
Past tense of "eat" "Wher'd that leftover possum belly go?" " You edit afore you passed out las nite.

"Gig" --
Frogging implement; frog gig. Used while air boating. A bamboo, or fiberglass pole with straightened fish hooks on the business end for spearing frogs.

"Internet" --
Where her fish were when she caught em.

"Buddy list" --
Names and phone numbers on the inside wall of the public outhouse above the hole.

"Tab" --
Anceint soft drink, used to mix low calorie drinks with white lightnin.

"Computer Chips" --
What you have when your computer takes a dump, sorta like cow chips.

"Hard drive" --
Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.

"Keyboard" --
1. Place to hang your truck keys.
2. Whare you're supposed to put da keys so da wife can find 'em.

"Window" --
Place in the truck to hang your guns.

"Floppy" --
When you run out of Polygrip.

"Modem" --
1. How you got rid of your dandelions.
2. What you did to da hay fields last July.

"ROM" --
Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.

"Byte" --
First word in a kiss-off phrase.

"Reboot" --
What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff.

"Network" --
Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line.

"Mouse" --
1. Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case.
2. What leaves those little turds in da cupboard.

"LAN" --
To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."

"Cursor" --
What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend.

"Bit" --
A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways."

"Digital Control" --
What yore fingers do on the TV remote.

"Packet" --
What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip.

can there be a black redneck? I have a yard full of dogs and I drove a pick-up......lmao

charlita said:

tmims-I think there's alittle Redneck in all of us!

I am definitely a little redneck! I LOVE nascar! And I would run away with dale earnhart jr if he told me I was pretty!

I am not a complete and total redneck....I did grow up in Texas....ride horses and love Nascar and four wheelin, but I think I am more country then redneck. I agree with Charlita, we all have a little redneck in us, even the blonde haired, blue eyed surfer boy I married....he lived on a farm and had his own livestock as a kid....but to look at him today you would never guess it. LOL...this should be a fun group!!! So...HOWDY YA'll

Has anyone see the lotto winners in Georgia? $275 million....but look at their reactions hahaha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GoxEzacbSk

Leesa said:

Has anyone see the lotto winners in Georgia? $275 million....but look at their reactions hahaha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GoxEzacbSk

Char, thanks for the invite!
You guys are hysterical!!!!
I'm just a gal from Orange County, California but I did live in Selma, Alabama for 8 months.
Heck, I even lived in a trailer…..Does that count?
BTW - if y'all have ever seen that show "The Real Housewives of Orange County", I'm here to tell y'all that notin culd be further from the truth :-))

NavyWife12 said:

Firemoon said:

Char, thanks for the invite!
You guys are hysterical!!!!
I'm just a gal from Orange County, California but I did live in Selma, Alabama for 8 months.
Heck, I even lived in a trailer…..Does that count?
BTW - if y'all have ever seen that show "The Real Housewives of Orange County", I'm here to tell y'all that notin culd be further from the truth :-))

That is one of my favorite shows...lol My husband grew up in Cali.

Firemoon said:

NavyWife12 said:

Firemoon said:

Char, thanks for the invite!
You guys are hysterical!!!!
I'm just a gal from Orange County, California but I did live in Selma, Alabama for 8 months.
Heck, I even lived in a trailer…..Does that count?
BTW - if y'all have ever seen that show "The Real Housewives of Orange County", I'm here to tell y'all that notin culd be further from the truth :-))

That is one of my favorite shows...lol My husband grew up in Cali.

NavyWife..........actuallly I like to watch it too, because it's so exaggerated which makes it entertaining LOL!!

Well I am from South Jersey. not truly a redneck I guess, but boy you make me angry and my neck can get red. HA! HA! Some of my family is from the south but I have myself lived in a trailer park, lived were our only source of heatwas stoking the fire. even at 3am when your sound a sleep and have to get up because fire went out. drove the car with each fender a different color, wheels shaking and thumping, I change my own flats, change my own oil, help work on cars in the yard. love to walk bare footed, love long nights in front of a bomb fire. ( one time we had it well up over the trees). always speak what is on my mind and HELL YEAH MY KIN IS MY LIFE! I ride four wheelers, dirtbikes and i ride my own street bike. I don't own any fancy clothes, me and my jean and sneakers do just fine. I have a big heart. Always helping other anyway I can! So yes i say part of me is REDNECK! Even as life has gotton better and better for me. I KNOW WHERE I CAME FROM! AN HOW I STARTED OUT!

Well from someone who is from the South, I am a little redneck. I live in LA, Lower Alabama. I work in a office and teach classes. I wear dress clothes everyday. But give me time off and I revert to my Redneck ways. I have potbelly stove in my dining room. I have 5 dogs and 10 cats. I work on my on vehicles and call my Mama every week. I wear blue jeans and boots. So Welcome fellar rednecks!!! Ya'll cum bak agin, ya hare!!!!

ADVICE TO NORTHERNERS MOVING TO THE SOUTH!  1) If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. 2) Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and fishing bait in the same store. Do not buy food at this store. 3) Remember ya'll is singular and all ya'll is plural and all ya'll's is possessive  4) Get use to hearing "ya'll ain't from around here, are ya?"  5) Save all manner of bacon grease. You'll be instructed how to use it later.  6) Be advised that "he needed killin" is a valid defense here. 7) If you hear a Southerner say "Hey, ya'll watch this" Stand clear. There's sure to be an accident and it just may be the last words he'll ever say. 8) If there is a prediction of even the slightest chance of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter if you need anything or not-you just need to be there. 9) Do not be surprised to find that 10 year-olds have their own shotguns. They are excellent marksman and their Mama's taught them how to shoot.  10 ) In the South, the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.  11) If you do settle in the South, do not for a minute, think your children will be accepted as Southerners. After all, if the cat has kittens in the oven-you wouldn't call them biscuits, would you?

And yestidy is yesterday and 'take out "means sit down and eat.