Everything Nurses >> Nursing Humor >> You know you work in the ER if ...
You know you work in the ER if ...
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Posted 6 months ago You know you work in the ER if: 1) You believe that 90% of people are a poor excuse for protoplasm.
2) Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal.
3) You believe a good tape job can fix anything.
4) You have the bladder capacity of five people.
5) You can identify a positive or negative “TTT” (Teeth To Tattoo) ratio.
6) Your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change.
7) You find humor in other people’s stupidity.
8) You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.
9) You disbelieve 90% of what you are told and 75% of what you see.
10) You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.
11) When a patient presents with migraine, low back pain, or fibromyalgia, allergies to multiple medications except Dilaudid and Demerol, and states that the family doctor is from out of town, you automatically assume the patient is a med seeker.
12) Your idea of comforting a child includes a papoose restraint.
13) You encourage an obnoxious patient to sign out AMA so you don’t have to deal with them any longer.
14) You believe that “shallow gene pool” should be an approved diagnosis.
15) You have discovered a new condition which you have termed “hypoXanaxemia”
16) You believe that the government should require a permit to reproduce.
17) You debate which is worse, spaghetti and meatballs, or pizza and beer, as you are dropping the EWOL and performing lavage.
18) You plan your dinner break while doing 17.
19) You believe that “Ask-A-Nurse” is a plot of Satan.
20) You believe that unspeakable evil will befall if the phrase “wow, it’s really quiet” is uttered.
21) You threaten to strangle, disembowel, or decapitate any person who even starts to say the “q” word when the ED is even remotely calm.
22) You refer to Fridays as “dump day”.
23) You believe that chocolate is a food group.
24) You take it as a compliment when someone calls you a dirty name.
25) You think “great veins” when looking at strangers in the grocery store.
I've got a bunch more, if anyone's interested ... Ted "The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities." - Ayn Rand |
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| Posted 3 months ago Love the one about convincing an obnoxious pt to go AMA. I actually did that!! The doc pissed him off and I just pulled out his AMA papers. Claire Kruszka |
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| Posted 3 months ago Great tdage. I'm not an ER nurse but these are still funny. I liked #7 you find humor in people's stupidity and #16 you believe that the government should require a permit to reproduce. LMAO |
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| Posted 2 months ago tdage...hilarious!!! Take it from a fellow EMT, I've thought about and/or done almost all of these!! So what are the others you mentioned having? |