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Human Resourcespeak

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Th_cats_3__max50

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Posted about 1 month ago

 

COMPETITIVE SALARY - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors


FAST-PACED - We have little time to train you


CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE - We don't pay enough to expect you to dress up


MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED - You'll be six months behind schedule on your very first day


SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED - Some every night and some every weekend


DUTIES WILL VARY - Anyone in the department can boss you around


MUST BE DETAIL-ORIENTED - We have no quality control


CAREER-MINDED - Female applicants must be childless, and remain that way


APPLY IN PERSON - If you are old, fat, or ugly, you will be told the position has been filled


NO PHONE CALLS - We've already filled the position, the call for resumes is just a legal formality


SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE - You'll be replacing three people


PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS A MUST - Company/department is in a perpetual state of chaos


REQUIRES LEADERSHIP SKILLS - You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the respect or pay


REQUIRES GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS - Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they really want, and then do it