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COMPETITIVE SALARY - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors

FAST-PACED - We have little time to train you

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE - We don't pay enough to expect you to dress up

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED - You'll be six months behind schedule on your very first day

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED - Some every night and some every weekend

DUTIES WILL VARY - Anyone in the department can boss you around

MUST BE DETAIL-ORIENTED - We have no quality control

CAREER-MINDED - Female applicants must be childless, and remain that way

APPLY IN PERSON - If you are old, fat, or ugly, you will be told the position has been filled

NO PHONE CALLS - We've already filled the position, the call for resumes is just a legal formality

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE - You'll be replacing three people

PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS A MUST - Company/department is in a perpetual state of chaos

REQUIRES LEADERSHIP SKILLS - You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the respect or pay

REQUIRES GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS - Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they really want, and then do it