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I noticed that a lot of you guys know what it's all about to be left behind and keep the home life thriving while our soldiers are gone.  Does anyone have advice on explaining this to a two yr old?  My husband is leaving Aug. 18th for a 14 mth tour and i have my 8 yr old daughter, who did four yrs. of active duty life with us, so she is all too aware.  But, i also have my son who was only 2 mths old when we left active duty and will have no idea why his daddy is not home.  Any activities, ideas or suggestions that may ease this even a little?  Any thoughts are appreciated. 

Thanks!

 Surfmom,

There is a video that you can get through military one source about deployments. Elmo from Sesame Street talks to kids about deployments. I ordered it (it's free- no cost for shipping or anything) when my husband deployed last year. It helped our son understand a little. It's never easy though. The younger they are the harder it is sometimes. 

The website is www.militaryonesource.com You will have to register but like I said it is free. I even ordered a stress reduction cd for myself :) 

Hope this helps...

Christie

My husband just recently returned from our second deployment.  When he left, our oldest was 2 1/2 years and the baby was 7 months.  We sat my oldest down and told him that Daddy had a very important job to do that was going to keep far a way for a long time.  We told him that Daddy was helping and protecting children far away.  We made sure it was understood that our son did NOTHING to cause this.  We also had my husband get on the webcam and record himself reading a book to our boys so they could see and hear Daddy every day.  We gave our toddler one of Daddy's shirts that smelled like him and he sent a new one home every month or two.  And we talked about how much we love Daddy and miss him while he was gone.  I wanted him to know it was okay to be sad.  We worked hard to make it clear that Daddy WOULD be coming home.  It's difficult and I know he understand it all but he did wonderful and the transition to having Daddy back home went wonderfully!  Another thing that helped was making plans.  My son became interested in fishing so Daddy promised to take him fishing when he got home and they talked about it whenever they were on the phone together.  Good luck and just remember that you are not alone in this.  It isn't easy but you and your two year old will get through this just fine.  And always remember it's okay to cry.  I just make a point to not sob in front of my kids.  I allow them to see me cry but not to break down completely.  If you ever want to talk, please feel free to contact me.

Everyone has touched on all the important things to help children deal with deployments. Our son was 3 months old when my husband did his first 1yr deployment to Iraq, and was 16 months old when daddy came back. But less than  a year later, we had to do it all over again, except this time he was almost 2 1/2 and he knew that daddy wasn't going to be home for a long time.  On top of all the other things everyone else mentioned,  prior to daddy leaving we got a kids world map and circled "Iraq" and circled where we were at. Caleb and I looked at this everyday, and talked about how daddy was at "work" fighting for our freedoms.   Then, we also had a countdown calendar, every night we crossed off that day, and saw how many days we had left.  I think it is so hard for children this age to fully understand the meaning of why their daddy or mommy isn't coming home for awhile.  It's one of the hardest things to deal with, especially at night when he used to cry and say "Why doesn't daddy want to come home??"  I had to reassure him that daddy would have LOVED to be home, but he had to complete his job first.   That year of my sons life had such an effect on him, because even now, two yrs later, he often brings up the question "Daddy, are you going to have to go back to Iraq??"  We don't lie to him, we tell him he probably will...but for now, let's be happy that daddy is home.   The webcam, instant message and now yahoo has that thing where you can "talk" in the chat...so that makes it "free" to talk to daddy. :)    I kept my son busy with sports and activities, it helped me as well.  I had changed my work status to PRN while my husband was gone because I wanted my son to feel secure and know that his mommy wasn't leaving.   As much as I wanted to cry sometimes, I rarely cried in front of him.  I had to be strong for our son.  

Deployments are hard, but if the family stays strong and the support system stays strong then you can get through it.  My husband goes on Detachments (he did to a deployment) and even though they may not be 6 months or longer, it is still very hard for him to go.  However, he has seen a lot and has been world wide...so I get neat things when he gets home.  He bought me a small surf board hand carved from Hawaii...he bought his daughters hand carved bracelets and shark tooth necklaces as well.   Especially for young children, stay strong and always tell them positive things...even when you are feeling negative.

Very cool, thanks for sharing.  Our Squadron has a child play group.  We began it after some of our Sailors were used in the IA program.  Basically the Army and Marines ran out of soliders, so they took the Sailors through a mini boot-camp and sent them off to combat in Iraq and such.  We are use to Carriers, Gator Freighters, and other Ships, not ground combat, alot of the children were having a hard time with their Dad being gone.  The play group helps moms and kids...it is a great program.

 This is tough because at 2 they do not understand, my daughter was in Iraq 1 year when my grandson was only 2 she returned he was 3, did not know who she was and called me mom, it was hard at first but within a few days back with mom all was right with the world, at 2 it must be very simple they do not understand time as a length so do not stress out give lots of kisses and re built once daddy comes home and llike with my daughter all will be right with the world again good luck

Thanks to a super great step-mom that my kids now have....they are understanding about deployment.  However, they only see their dad a couple of times a year, so deployment doesn't relly matte to them. 

Thank you for this topic. This will be helpful for when my son-in-law deploys. He has been worried about it and is so afraid my grand-daughter will forget him.